So this is what it’s like to be a parent… Constantly at a tiny thing’s beck and call. An incessant MEEP MEEP – feed me! MEEP MEEP – I did a poo!
This is my life as a parent. This is my life, with a Tamagotchi.
8:30pm – Parenting Begins
How hard can parenting be? I pressed the button and out popped an egg. (That’s where babies come from.) Cue an incubation of 30 minutes and suddenly, as I sat watching TV… An alarming bleeeeep! “Oh my god, how have I killed it as an egg?!” I thought to myself as I ran over to it… but to my surprise and happiness, I saw my tiny blob thing, smiling happily up at me. Aww.
8:50pm – Now what?
Feeding it? Check. Playing with it… Check. Parenting! What a breeze! I played with it a few times, fed it… It’s happy. Okay, I can put it down for a while. Everything it does is cute… aw it just had it’s first ever poo. Give it a bath and get on with my evening. Easy peasy. Pop the little guy next to my bed, and all is well.
9:10pm – WHAT WAS THAT?
It just let out the weirdest noise. It wasn’t like it’s other noises of pooping, being hungry or wanting to play. What is wrong with it?! Have I killed it already? Oh no, it’s just a bit ill. Give it some medicine… It’ll be okay. You scared me there little fellow.
9:20pm – When do I get “me” time?
Every 10 minutes this child wants to be fed, or needs to have a wash, or wants to play. How can one possibly get anything done or hold down a full time job? But we persevere, and the small blob seems happy enough.
9:30pm – Ok… fine we can play again…
This Tamagotchi child enjoys ONE GAME and it just likes to repeat it over and over and over! What if I don’t want to play the number game anymore! When does my happiness come into this? When do you just do nothing and let me have some rest?
9:50pm – Another weird bleep….
Jesus H Christ, what does it want now? It doesn’t have a black skull over it so, it’s not in immediate danger….Oh. It’s gone to sleep. And it needed to make really loud angry noises beforehand to tell me it was tired. I see. I turn off the back light, and my own light. Sleep, little one. Dream of better places… and don’t you dare wake me up at 4am.
Will my baby survive? Or will he bring about his own downfall? Tune in next time to Tamagotchi Parenting Part Two – Here.
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