My Tamagotchi Baby Chapter One: Baby’s First Everything

So this is what it’s like to be a parent… Constantly at a tiny thing’s beck and call. An incessant MEEP MEEP – feed me! MEEP MEEP – I did a poo!
This is my life as a parent. This is my life, with a Tamagotchi.

8:30pm – Parenting Begins

How hard can parenting be? I pressed the button and out popped an egg. (That’s where babies come from.) Cue an incubation of 30 minutes and suddenly, as I sat watching TV… An alarming bleeeeep! “Oh my god, how have I killed it as an egg?!” I thought to myself as I ran over to it… but to my surprise and happiness, I saw my tiny blob thing, smiling happily up at me. Aww.

8:50pm – Now what?

Tamagotchi Poop

Feeding it? Check. Playing with it… Check. Parenting! What a breeze! I played with it a few times, fed it… It’s happy. Okay, I can put it down for a while. Everything it does is cute… aw it just had it’s first ever poo. Give it a bath and get on with my evening. Easy peasy. Pop the little guy next to my bed, and all is well.

9:10pm – WHAT WAS THAT?

It just let out the weirdest noise. It wasn’t like it’s other noises of pooping, being hungry or wanting to play. What is wrong with it?! Have I killed it already? Oh no, it’s just a bit ill. Give it some medicine… It’ll be okay. You scared me there little fellow.

Tamagotchi Sick
Haunted by the ghost of it’s past.

9:20pm – When do I get “me” time?

Every 10 minutes this child wants to be fed, or needs to have a wash, or wants to play. How can one possibly get anything done or hold down a full time job? But we persevere, and the small blob seems happy enough.

9:30pm – Ok… fine we can play again…

This Tamagotchi child enjoys ONE GAME and it just likes to repeat it over and over and over! What if I don’t want to play the number game anymore! When does my happiness come into this? When do you just do nothing and let me have some rest?

Tamagotchi Game

9:50pm – Another weird bleep….

Jesus H Christ, what does it want now? It doesn’t have a black skull over it so, it’s not in immediate danger….Oh. It’s gone to sleep. And it needed to make really loud angry noises beforehand to tell me it was tired. I see. I turn off the back light, and my own light. Sleep, little one. Dream of better places… and don’t you dare wake me up at 4am.

For more 90’s toys and fads posts – click here!
If you’ve no idea what a Tamagotchi is,1. Who are you? 2. Click to find out more here.

2 thoughts on “My Tamagotchi Baby Chapter One: Baby’s First Everything

  1. Oh this made me laugh lots!
    I look forward to Chapter Two 😀

    I asked my mother to babysit mine during the day when I was at school… a terrible decision. She didn’t even look at it and allowed it to die.
    On some level I never really got over it.

  2. Oh Amy! This made me laugh, I think this is one of my favourite things you have written and I’m a hardcore fan of your blog as you know, actually okay okay! I haven’t read it in ages and now I feel bad about that. By the way how are your thirties so far. It starts with people not knowing about tamagotchis but when your partner hasn’t heard of subuteo then you are really in trouble. X

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