So this is what it’s like to be a parent… Constantly at a tiny thing’s beck and call. An incessant MEEP MEEP – feed me! MEEP MEEP – I did a poo!
This is my life as a parent. This is my life, with a Tamagotchi.
8:30pm – Parenting Begins
How hard can parenting be? I pressed the button and out popped an egg. (That’s where babies come from.) Cue an incubation of 30 minutes and suddenly, as I sat watching TV… An alarming bleeeeep! “Oh my god, how have I killed it as an egg?!” I thought to myself as I ran over to it… but to my surprise and happiness, I saw my tiny blob thing, smiling happily up at me. Aww.
8:50pm – Now what?
Feeding it? Check. Playing with it… Check. Parenting! What a breeze! I played with it a few times, fed it… It’s happy. Okay, I can put it down for a while. Everything it does is cute… aw it just had it’s first ever poo. Give it a bath and get on with my evening. Easy peasy. Pop the little guy next to my bed, and all is well.
9:10pm – WHAT WAS THAT?
It just let out the weirdest noise. It wasn’t like it’s other noises of pooping, being hungry or wanting to play. What is wrong with it?! Have I killed it already? Oh no, it’s just a bit ill. Give it some medicine… It’ll be okay. You scared me there little fellow.
9:20pm – When do I get “me” time?
Every 10 minutes this child wants to be fed, or needs to have a wash, or wants to play. How can one possibly get anything done or hold down a full time job? But we persevere, and the small blob seems happy enough.
9:30pm – Ok… fine we can play again…
This Tamagotchi child enjoys ONE GAME and it just likes to repeat it over and over and over! What if I don’t want to play the number game anymore! When does my happiness come into this? When do you just do nothing and let me have some rest?
9:50pm – Another weird bleep….
Jesus H Christ, what does it want now? It doesn’t have a black skull over it so, it’s not in immediate danger….Oh. It’s gone to sleep. And it needed to make really loud angry noises beforehand to tell me it was tired. I see. I turn off the back light, and my own light. Sleep, little one. Dream of better places… and don’t you dare wake me up at 4am.