Heyyyy! It’s ya girl, Amy, back at it again with some awesome new conte… no, I can’t keep this up. Yeah, hi – I was gone, and now I’m back. Over the course of the year I’ve not really felt like blogging. I mean, who could blame me for not exactly feeling motivated enough to do anything but dip my toe occasionally. But I thought, seeing as it’s Halloween season (aka… September right up to October 31st) I’d start producing some more posts for my favourite time of the year.
Let’s start with a little life update… and I will try my best not to mention the “C” word. It’s been a heck of a year for me mental health wise, in that for the first time in my life (back in April) I finally said “I need to be signed off work due to my stress and anxiety.” Since then, things have dramatically improved and I’ve been back at work since May. It’s been far from a smooth ride for me, but I feel like I’m improving all the time. So here’s just a little about what I’ve been up to (other than getting a fresh post-lock-down haircut).
Living with a *boyyyy* again…
So at the start of lock-down I had a decision to make. Either, I move in with my boyfriend (of 2 weeks… might I add), or I choose not to see him at all because his family were shielding. So, I thought what have I got to lose? Launch right in, and if things don’t work out, I go back to my mum’s and I’m no worse off than I was before. Luckily, it was a great decision on my part – and we celebrated our 6 month anniversary this week. I feel like at this point if we can deal with constantly being in each other’s spaces, we could probably deal with anything.
Work work work work work
Setting the scene – I work in marketing for a pharmaceutical company so, my job has been very hands-on over the past few months, and at a time when (like most people) I’ve not been feeling very adaptable, it’s been tough! Working from home is great though, and I am firmly in the “let me work from home forever” crowd. I might feel differently in the winter months but for now, HELLO? Working from garden? Yes please.
Seeking better well-being
I’ve been doing lots of bits and pieces to help improve my well-being over the course of the last 6 months. From mindfulness, therapy and meditating to just putting a face mask on and crying a lot in the bath. It’s been a bit of a roller-coaster and although at the moment every day rolls into one, generally I see things are more positive than they are low. I’ve found some excellent new mindful things to do too, so I’ll share all of those with you soon!
Previous post: How I’ve improved my well-being during lock-down
Little pockets of happiness
Although I haven’t been able to see friends much due to my anxiety around the Current Situation™ the times that I have seen them have created little pockets of happiness for me to feed from. Although I may be relatively quiet compared to my friends, I am most definitely an extrovert. In other words, they bring me LIFE. <3 Whether it’s a rooftop barbecue, or grabbing a bubble tea, these tiny pieces of normality have been great for me. (Now I just have to work on the post-being-outside panic attacks…)
Definitely not blogging…
Originally, blogging was one of the things I did to help my well-being, and then it turned into this huge deal where in 2019 I was making money from writing, getting pretty excellent sponsorship… Overall I was just treating it like some “side hustle” which I just couldn’t maintain with the intensity of my day job. I’ve had this feeling about it before where I’ve been driven to tears by the pressure I’ve been putting on myself in some attempt to validate my worth through the amount of followers I can get on the internet (despite my better judgement).
I’m over that feeling now and I am working on not tying my productivity to my self-worth anymore. I feel zero pressure now and to be honest I’m just going to go back to the roots of what I loved about blogging. Throwing out my feels into the void for whoever will take the time to read it or maybe won’t. I am happy to say, once again, I am Writing into the Ether.