I tend to have these weird moments sometimes where I think “wouldn’t it be cool to do this thing I’ve not thought through, that pushes me way out of my comfort zone?” and then I just do it. So, today I did my first stint as a plus size life model. I only posed in the (almost) nude in front of absolute strangers, no big deal.
If you were to spend any time scanning over my blog, you can see I am a cheeky plus size lady. Most of the time, I love myself and I am confident and feel comfortable with my body. I’m helped a lot by a boyfriend who adores me and wonderful friends who bring me up and help me to see myself for the beautiful goddess I am! Of course, there are always people who bring you down, things that knock your confidence (lol, looking at you, society) and times when you just pick a random body part to hate that day. You know, the usual.
So beforehand, I was nervous – not because of my body but because I might not get the angles right so people could see my whole body, what if my camera fell over, what if my mind went blank and I didn’t know how to pose! But regardless, I launched right in. I knew what to expect from these sessions as I’d been on the drawing end of the camera a few times before! Plus, after a few years of blogging I was used to posing for the camera (even if this time it was de-robed.)
We started with a few short 1 minute poses to warm up, followed by a few longer poses. My favourite was the model-led pose where I had full control over when I moved my body and how long I posed for. It was funny to hear the audible groans when people wanted to finish one pose and I’d already moved to the next. Mwahaha.
Of course, everyone was having fun and they were super focused on making sure they were drawing accurately. No-one said very much when they were drawing but when they did they were talking about the shape of my body in terms of structure and honestly it made me feel just super ordinary in the best way. At times the words “venus” and “renaissance vibes” were used, which made me blush! People were also so complimentary of my poses and a few of them complimented my hair. (Tbf, I was having an excellent hair day.)
It was really strange staying completely still for up to 10 minutes at a time. My body started to almost… think it was asleep (?) and it made my legs twitch and my eyes glaze over when I concentrated so hard on not moving. I needed plenty of water afterwards too! I just let my mind wander and hoped I wouldn’t move…
… and I didn’t feel a single ounce of awkwardness. The only time I did, was the split seconds when I couldn’t think what pose to do next, and at times when I thought… shit, did I do this pose already? It was more of a “damn, I wanna seem like I know what I’m doing” embarrassment than an “oh no, what do they think about my body?” At the end though, everyone was really kind when I said it was the first time I’d done something like that, and they were all saying they’d never have realised as my poses were beautiful and I seemed super confident. Yay.
Afterwards, I asked for pictures of what they had done and although they’d been sharing them throughout the session they seemed really shy to show their creativity! I’ve put a few of them above, and I absolutely love them! It’s funny that people are more scared of their creations than I was of posing in underwear in front of them.
I was almost put off taking part in the session today because of another plus size life model in my last drawing class saying “people should leave it to the professionals”… but I am so glad I wasn’t put off! I would encourage anyone to do something like this from either side of the camera if you feel comfortable- its just natural, freeing, rewarding and makes you appreciate your body for what it is – a piece of art.
It was an amazing experience that I really want to do again next year for more people. This time it was privately run but soon we might even do an open session for members of the public! Also, if anyone wants to hire me to do this again, I’d be so up for it – hit me up!
Related post: How body confidence hit me like a tidal wave