Major Adulting: Trying to Capture my Creative Spark

For weeks now, I’ve felt overwhelmed by the most minor of tasks… It’s safe to say I have not been adulting very well. Any thought of writing or creating was completely out of the window, as I struggled with the basic instinct of waking up and giving a damn about anything past what’s in front of my eyes.Β It’s a horrible feeling. It quells my ability to stop and truly think deeply about anything.

Every time I started a blog post, I typed out a paragraph and then thought, this is going nowhere. I’ve been through stints like this before – where everything is a struggle and it feels like I’m trapped behind a haze inside my own brain. But the logical side of me always knows it doesn’t last.

I just needed to wait it out.

This too, shall pass.

I had to really try hard to make myself read a book this month. Attending my regular book group at my friend’s bookshop is something I’ve neglected to do for the past few months even though it’s something I love to do. Even though I enjoyed this new book instantly and knew I wanted to read it, something made me put it down and decide instead to stare into space every time. I kept losing this battle with my own brain but I persevered, even though it was painfully slowly.

I finally managed to attend the club having read half of the book (at least half an achievement)… and then something absolutely wonderful happened. The book (which was Murakami’s ‘Colorless Tsukuru tazaki and his Years of Pilgrimage’) sparked something that made me want to fight it’s corner when people started to dislike it. I saw so much of myself in that book that it felt I had to defend it with all my heart.

The Creative Spark

This triggered something inside me. Some creative spark that I forgot I had… an instant clarity. I am not sure if it was the intellectual stimulation from being with like-minded people or just simply the ability to truly feel passionately about something literary again, that made me reawaken. My deeper thoughts seem to be coming back, the fuzzy wall is receding slowly.

I am going to do a full review of this book soon, now that my brain has decided to let me think once more. Although this post is short and sweet, I thought it was necessary to just get it out there so I can show where I am, where I was, reflect on it, and move on.


  1. Maz
    1st June 2018

    I feel you on this one so much, the brain fog is a terrible curse πŸ™ I’m so glad you’re feeling better and wanting to write more! Big love xx

  2. Shane
    1st June 2018

    Yay, my favourite blogger of them all is back πŸ™‚

    I’m looking forward to all of the blog posts on account of your recaptured spark <3

  3. Lizzie Bee
    3rd June 2018

    Awh yay, I’m so glad you got your mojo back! I’m interested to hear about your book review… In fact, why haven’t you done book reviews before?! You should totally do them as you have such a large collection of them!

  4. Eloise
    4th June 2018

    Yay for getting the spark back! I have always admired your creativeness so I’m glad to hear you’re feeling better about it :]
    I wish I was creative in some way. I sometimes imagine myself getting into writing stuff… But I haven’t ever really *tried*. If you have any other tips about motivating myself/beginning a creative process feel free to send them my way πŸ˜€

    1. Amy_Ether
      4th June 2018

      Hi Eloise!
      Thank you so much for your lovely comment.
      I think my main tips for motivating yourself are:
      – Nothing is ever “not good enough” when it comes to writing and making a start.
      – Don’t be afraid to think small. Sometimes big thoughts and ideas are the worst when it comes to taking the first leap.
      – Get some creativity books – List books work well. Anything that can spark a little bit of creative thought and then things will just kind of flow.

      Hope these help, and I am always here if you want to bounce ideas off me too! This works for me when I’m trying to get things going too! xx

  5. Sean McCabe
    4th June 2018

    When your own mind decides to fight you, nothing is easy. Your incredible for fighting through it and finding your spark again – it’s a beautiful analogy – you’re right that it passes though. I’m so happy for you that it’s starting to clear.

    I look forward to hearing a review of the book that helped bring you back.

  6. […] wall inside my mind for so long – one that I felt had been lifted by something as simple as a book club, but as time went on I realised that something inside me had clicked in those few days. I’d […]


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