One perfectly annoying habit I have is that when I feel sad or anxious, I seek out more negativity. It sounds like the worst idea, right? When I feel low my brain says… “You know what would be great? If we set ourselves off into a self-doubt spiral!” Once I am in there I find it a struggle to get out so this is a note to myself (and to you) on how to try to break free.
This post contains a gifted product worn while doing my shoot – hope you like them!
One main example of this is when I feel like my blog is going nowhere, or that people don’t enjoy/read it. It might sound silly but this is my main creative outlet. I am literally pouring my soul onto the screen for the world to see. This feeling gave life to the blog name “Writing Into The Ether”, actually. The idea that I am speaking out into open space, in the hope that someone might hear and understand.
But when I am in the tornado of self-torment, I forget the reasons I started to blog in the first place and then automatically start to seek out references for comparison; other blogs and other people that make me feel even more inferior. I find myself clicking in an anxious frenzy, through page after page, profile after profile, blog after blog… comparing myself to every aspect.
How has that person’s blog been so successful?
How do I get my pictures to look that good?
What do they have that I don’t?
Do you ever get like this? Perhaps not just with blogging, but in other elements of your life? Here are just a few tips that I thought I’d give myself, which I am going to try my best to follow. (Unfortunately just like Alice, I often give myself very good advice but I very seldom follow it.)
Operation: Kicking Anxiety Out!
- Recognise you’re in the spiral – sometimes this is the hardest part!
- Breathe deeply.
- Get off the internet for 10 mins! (But keep reading first…)
- Make a list of why you feel this way and you may find the more you analyse, the more absurd it seems and the calmer you feel.
- Clear your mind and repeat affirmations.
- Switch your questions from negative ones, to positive.
- Record your strengths and achievements for later reference. Read them.
- Treat yourself to a little something you enjoy – a cake, a bath, a dance…
- Move on to your next mini-goal.
Most of my anxieties exacerbate my self doubt, despite all the things that others tell me I am capable of. I try to combat it by making a note of positive little things that have happened in a journal, and I have a document filled with all my most successful personal moments.
If you record the good times then it helps you to reinforce to yourself… You can do this. Every success, no matter how small, is still a success. I think noting these down has definitely helped me in these dark moments, to refocus myself and carry on.
I think once you’ve stopped to recognise that you’re in a self-doubt spiral, you can then work on why the hell you felt that way. Turn those negative questions into realistic goals. Don’t think “Why am I not good enough at this?” and start thinking “I am strong and capable – what can I do to get better at this?”
Yes, self-doubt might have it’s icy grips on me for an hour, an afternoon, or even a few days… but I shall continue to fight it with confident thoughts! I hope that when you find this you’re in a good place, but if you’re not then please remember: There will be better days and positive moments! x