You know when you’re first getting to know someone new, and you ask them all those very important questions that pop into your head?
If you could only eat one food for your life what would it be? What superhero power would you pick?
What would your plan be in a zombie apocalypse?
These ever important questions can help shape the future of a friendship (for me anyway)… If you can’t answer these simple hypothetical questions then what kind of human are you? (Probably not the kind I’d want to hang out with…)
Everyone needs a zombie apocalypse plan. It’s one of those questions that pops up amongst my friends quite a lot – it’s the perfect ice-breaker question and it’s useful to know your strategy, should the unthinkable happen.
If there ever was the need for me to execute my zombie apocalypse plan, I would definitely be headed to my place of work… Yes I know, that’s the one place most people would avoid. But hear me out!
1. I’ve picked somewhere completely undesirable
You need a small unassuming place, surrounded by other identical, seemingly empty looking buildings and barbed wire fences. There is plenty of space there without it being ostentatious and definitely is not attractive to other people (especially not me). If you’ve ever seen a zombie movie (or generally been outside), you know that other people are more dangerous than zombies.
2. Security is paramount
There are very few who have access to my work… Perfect for when you eventually need to establish a hierarchy (and you’re the only one there). It’s a place with separate manual window and electronic metal door shutters over the exits and NO WINDOWS once inside the main office. Goodbye sunlight, hello safety.
3, You need to avoid crowds and stick together
One of my friends said he’d head straight for the supermarket for supplies – IS HE FRIGGING CRAZY? Zombie apocalypse, end of the world, riots in the streets – going to where the stinking masses will be is never a good plan. Stick to your small niche group of selected (useful) friends and family that manage to make it through. (I have every faith in you!)
4. Access to supplies
I would be 2 minutes drive from the supermarket so, once it stopped being a Z-Fest, I’d head over to see what I could salvage from the stores. It’s also 2 mins from a petrol station PLUS my workplace has a fully stocked first aid kit. (And I’m a first aider. *smug face*)
5. You need a long-term plan
With 1 or 2 short trips back to my house (another 5 minute drive away) I could turn this fortress into a palace! Bring a few books, movies, pillows and duvets – you’ve got a long term home-from-home.