Ladies and Gentlemen, it would appear I have lost my Muchness. But it’s okay, don’t worry! I’ve decided on how I’m going to get it back, and this is the first step. But, first of all some of you might be thinking, what the heck is ‘Muchness’?
Muchness is your soul. It’s your style, the thing that makes you unique. It’s the thing that makes you… yourself. Sometimes you don’t realise it’s gone until someone tells you, sometimes you don’t realise it ever left until it comes back. But when you notice that you have it, you should cherish it. It’s what separates you from the others.
(It’s also a concept from a really small, niche book – Lewis Carroll’s Alice in Wonderland. You’ve probably never heard of it…)
What happens when you’ve lost your muchness?
I have felt like over this year I’ve become less and less happy with the direction of my writing. I’ve felt pressured to produce things that you will all enjoy, rather than things that I enjoy writing about. So yes, I am basically blaming you.
Just kidding. It’s actually a crazy concoction of things. Stress from external sources, pressure to be popular, and to the constant feeling that I need to be progressing in some way. (I get that in every element of my life, I hate the feeling of stagnation.) Just the prospect of growing “page views” and “DOMAIN AUTHORITY” *thunder crashes* is enough to drive the biggest creative into a self-assessing cynic.
Thanks to 3 very awesome men who talked me through things, I realised where I was going wrong and now I feel like my last post was a reawakening for me! It’s back to the old muchness, and closer to who I am. I got such a good reception from it that I’ll definitely be posting more things like this again. I loved writing that post and I’d held it back for so long!
Blogging gave me this freedom and I won’t let blogging take it away.
My posts used to be “innocent reflections of myself” that I threw out into the world in the hope that someone might read them, maybe leave a little comment, get a laugh or a smile. Although I do love doing my events and working with local people I feel I need to focus more inwardly again. I need to head back to my Wonderland.
Reviewing events, new sponsors and improving my photography planning are all great opportunities I’d not have had without blogging… but I let it compromise my voice. Not any more. I’m going to be myself again, and write about what I love. I won’t let my muchness die, and I will no longer hide who I am. I will explore new things, improve and build at my own pace, fill my life with colour and share it all with you.